has anyone ever finished a game of monopoly
i now know why
(via yesimbeyonce)
Hey unloving, I will love you.
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
(via onlinepunk)
This is like the most urgent sign I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
Whereas this is the most passive-aggressive sign.
Im laughing so hard omg
(Source: lindsaylohanthony, via lampsarepeopletoo)
(Source: frinkzippi, via lulz-time)
a snake escaping from the room it’s meant to stay in
i lost it at that little flop when it hits the ground
good job
(via thatsmoderatelyraven)
Sometimes, the adolescent elephant will throw itself upon the ground as a sign of extreme emotional distress, commonly known as a “tantrum.”
i am an adolescent elephant
(via rianmcflyin)
birds are so ridiculous how do they even all exist???
fuckin
crazy ass
bobbleheaded
tiny motherfuckin
i dont even
things that dont make any sense
dragon faced
jesus christ is that a duck
some kind of prehistoric nonsense
holy shit where is your beak even birds, BIRDS
(via thatsmoderatelyraven)
(Source: assholedisney, via ghoulsandgallows)
(via h0odrich)
(Source: ruinedchildhood, via aliomelette)
